These days, you might know him better as a tractor-driving Gentleman Farmer, but Jeremy Clarkson wasn't always a horny-handed son of the soil. Not at all. Back in the day Jeremy was far more likely to be found gunning around the world in a haze of burnt rubber and petrol fumes. But life as a globe-trotting petrol-head also meant he was forced to endure more than his fair share of foolishness, frustration, and downright bafflement. And, while Jeremy may not be a patient man, you have to ask why anyone should have to consider issues as diverse and perplexing as: The downsides of relaxing in a bath of crude oil; why fishing is for people who hate their kids; whether there are noise-cancelling headphones with the power to silence James May; why saving the planet means soggy paper straws and no more children; and what to do about the rambler who stole his marrow.